Causes and Solutions for Entrepreneurial Loneliness
Trailblazer. Pioneer. Innovator.
Each of these badges of honor evokes pride, especially in the business world. Yet there are hidden costs to being ahead of the curve and striking out on your own, one of which is loneliness. While the scientific literature on the topic is mixed, we would argue that loneliness among entrepreneurs is a legitimate problem dovetailing with the increased risk of mental health issues which business owners also face. This is fairly intuitive: after all, entrepreneurs are effectively creating something out of nothing, and to do so with any chance of success usually entails long hours, high pressure, and near-constant stress.
To understand entrepreneurial loneliness separate from these other stressors, it is important to understand the social context and perspective of the average business owner. Entrepreneurship is in many ways one of the most isolating experiences; in typical jobs, workers have a built in peer group of those who occupy similar roles or are on the same team, but entrepreneurs (even those who have reached the level of success necessary to hire employees) will always occupy a distinct psychological and labor niche. Because they likely will not encounter other entrepreneurs in their daily lives, and because they carry the fate of an entire business on their shoulders, it is difficult for business owners to establish a peer group who relates to the very singular experience of building an enterprise from the ground up.
In turn, this feeling that entrepreneurs have no one who shares their perspective and experiences spills out into their personal life as well. As business owners understandably focus on their endeavors and feel isolated, they pull back from friends and loved ones; friends and family then feel deprioritized by the entrepreneur, unsure of how to adjust to these changes in their dynamic, and also pull back or lash out. This continues in a vicious cycle, causing the entrepreneur to feel even more isolated and unsupported.
A further complexity in the issue of entrepreneurial loneliness is the reality that different stages of business development come with different challenges, but the outside world invariably assumes that the hardest part is launching a business, not sustaining it. To borrow a common phrase in the entrepreneurship community, staying on top is just as demanding as getting there in the first place. Normal people often see an established business a few years down the road and assume the hard part is over, or worse, that it was an overnight success. Both perspectives are reductive and isolating to a business owner and further contribute to the belief that no one understands their experiences. They also lead to a pernicious circumstance in which an entrepreneur's identity and self-worth are conflated with that of the business, making them feel seen not for who they are but instead merely for what they do.
Clearly, there are many reasons for and ramifications of entrepreneurial loneliness. There are also solutions, or at least ways to mitigate the worst effects.
First and foremost: find (or build!) your own community. For us, the entire purpose of Empowered Women is to foster a group of like-minded individuals grappling with the issues of owning our own businesses. The primary antidote to feeling isolated is to see that there are others experiencing the same struggles as you, with the added perk of getting to pick their brains for potential solutions and avoiding having to reinvent the wheel for every bump you encounter on the road to success.
On a similar note, if you’re feeling lonely or stressed, ask for help. Your friends and family may not be able to fully understand the challenges you deal with on a daily basis in running a business, but they are still in your corner and doubtless will do whatever they can to help you. However, if you don’t make your needs known, they’ll never effectively get addressed. There’s nothing wrong with seeking assistance and everything wrong with struggling in silence. You owe it to yourself and the people you care about–not to mention the success of your business–to ask for help whenever you need it.
Asking your loved ones for support is a lot easier when you’re actively participating in their lives instead of lurking in the background. Accordingly, prioritize all of your relationships whenever possible. Don’t assume time with the people you care about (or even just for yourself) will spontaneously pop up; you have to choose to carve it out yourself. And don’t think of quality time with loved ones as another ball to juggle–it should be a sanctuary from your normal stress, or at least a way to recharge your batteries and carry on with the fight.
Speaking of prioritization, it’s important for every entrepreneur to monitor their physical and mental wellbeing at every stage of the process. Check in with yourself on a daily or weekly basis and evaluate whether any changes need to be made. Are you losing or gaining weight in an unhealthy way? Do you feel the beginnings of burnout? Have you made time to see your friends or family recently? Have a personalized checklist of the things you care about or are concerned about and always keep your fingers on the pulse of your own health. It’s far better to prevent problems from getting worse than fixing them once they’ve spiraled.
Lastly, this is the one piece of advice absolutely every entrepreneur needs to hear: you can’t put out every fire. In the long run, you may be able to solve many of the problems that arise, but on most time scales, there will always be something that theoretically needs your attention. Giving into this urge will only rob you of the time and mental capacity you owe yourself to step away from the business and prevent yourself from being consumed by it. Remember that to set aside time for yourself or loved ones and to effectively monitor your wellbeing, you will have to leave some loose ends. Don’t hold that against yourself. By not trying to solve every problem (or by asking for help to speed up the process) you can dedicate more time to building and strengthening the connections necessary for happiness and staving off loneliness.
