The Importance of Little Joys
Much of our content here at EWL centers on reframing perspectives in order to help our community achieve their goals alongside greater career or business success. While these ends are worth pursuing in their own right, it is also worth remembering (at the risk of getting somewhat existential) that our professional accomplishments are not the sole determinant of our personal happiness. In fact, as we’ve established in prior posts, tying your identity too closely to your business or career increases the risk of loneliness and depression. Healthier sources of joy are necessary for a full life.
Easier said than done, of course. Much of the way we structure our lives revolves around the pursuit of long-term goals and major milestones, such as educational attainment, home ownership, and career advancement. The problem is that, as we achieve these goals, the initial satisfaction we achieve is never maintained for long. It wanes over time until we return to baseline, and the cycle then repeats as we set and strive for new goals.
Scientists and philosophers alike have a term for this all-too-human tendency: the hedonic treadmill. It is a basic fact of our psychology with roots in neurobiology; joy attained from a singular act or achievement cannot be experienced forever, no matter how meaningful or monumental it may be. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t set goals or strive for success, but it does mean that we shouldn’t rely on long-term goals for our daily happiness. For a more joyous existence, we recommend starting small, not big.
By this we mean thinking of happiness not as the dopamine rush you get for achieving a long-sought goal (or, more commonly, from the latest online purchase) but as a daily habit cultivated by doing things you genuinely enjoy. These can be deeply meaningful–participating in religion or volunteer work, for example–or as simple as making the time to read a book or draw. The point is, these ‘little’ joys are something you decide for yourself, and you have to actively carve out time for them. Finding moments for small, personal sources of happiness when there are bills to pay and chores on the to-do list can seem trivial, but to repeat another EWL refrain, don’t neglect your mental health! Our hobbies and passions are an important source of overall satisfaction and shouldn’t always play second fiddle to the other demands of daily life.
A common obstacle that often presents itself to adults trying to find the time for hobbies and similar activities is the belief that they have none. Many of us haven’t indulged ourselves in unstructured time to pursue personal interests since high school, to the point where we may have forgotten what we used to enjoy, or the things that spark our interest have changed entirely. For anyone struggling to decide what activities to pursue in a limited amount of free time: few of us are born with innate talents, and none of us come into this world with built-in hobbies or passions. So don’t overthink it. If you’re intrigued by something, explore it for a while, and if it turns out to not be for you, you can always move on, having learned something about yourself you can apply to the next thing. Curiosity is the name of the game; if there’s a topic or activity that you want to know more about, there’s a decent chance that it could be something worth your time. Follow your curiosity.
While passions and pursuits outside of work are integral to our wellbeing, there’s another facet of lives that we discussed in our last post dissecting the issue of loneliness among entrepreneurs: being social. Regularly spending time with friends and family is a great way to squeeze more enjoyment out of life, especially when done with purpose. If you’ve found yourself in a rut lately, focus on deepening the relationship you have (or perhaps even set out to make some new ones). Reach out to the people you know or want to know better, and be mindful of your time with them by making a point of actively listening and engaging with them. Better yet, if your hobbies lend themselves to doubling as social activities, invite a friend to join you, whether that’s going to the gym with you or starting a book club. This two birds, one stone approach is a great way to make the connections you have that much more meaningful.
We’ve emphasized hobbies and socialization so far as drivers of personal happiness, but don’t underestimate the power of a good book, your comfort TV show, or just relaxing. While binge watching/reading is never the best thing for your mental health, and napping every day away would be problematic for a variety of reasons, there is no shame–and plenty of rejuvenation–to be found in these supposedly ‘lazy’ activities that our society tends to malign for their lack of productivity. Whether you’re a Harry Potter expert or a Gilmore Girls aficionado, reject the doctrine of toxic productivity, curl up, and immerse yourself in another world, if only for a little while.
Our last bit of advice is the one we wish we had heard more throughout our own lives: if you know something makes you unhappy, don’t do it. Relatedly, as we’ve said many times, you decide for yourself what you enjoy or what you should do; no one else could or should make those determinations for you. It may take some trial and error, but be open to experience and explore new things. You’ll find in time that the little joys of our lives have a big impact.
